Pet Peeves/Annoyances
1) Sassy speed limit signs i.e. those in Montgomery Village. (At the time, I drew a picture of the signs in my notebook - the Arabic numerals look as though they were written by a carefree, self-assured architect signing a check. They are like italics, but only if "italics" could drink apple-tinis and then criticize your outfit.
2) Saying "heidgth" or "heigth" instead of "height"
3) Houses with brick front and vinyl siding - who are you fooling? (And no, this isn't a result of snobbery. Houses with all vinyl or wooden siding look fine, it's the literal facade of brick that kills me.)
4) When people say "foward" instead of "forward"
5) The way my dad says "wah wah wah" like a baby, when I'm complaining about something.
6)Super passive-aggressive conversations that culminate with the phrase "can you repeat the question?"
7)Eudora
8) Trying to do anything logical or practical in Excel. Not gonna happen.
9) "Lil" - in any place, or any context; at any time, and before, or after, any word or phrase.
10)People who whole-heartedly (and often passionately) believe that freedom of speech only applies to thing they like to hear, want to hear, or agree with.
11)People who think "Hair of the Dog," by Nazareth is "Son of a Bitch," by AC/DC.*
12) People who assume Pittsburgh can't possibly be cool because they grew up there/nearby.
13) People who assume that people who stay in Pittsburgh do so out of some short-coming, failure, or fear - and not out of choice.**
14) Getting an earache from sitting in a smokey bar too long.
15) The (proposed?) smoking ban. It's a slippery slope. If the government is truly concerned about the harmful effects of smoking, they ought to ban cigarettes. Until that day comes, I'd encourage you to wonder who is lobbying for these freedom-reducing measures (and they are, crazy as that sounds), and wonder if isn't some powerhouse health care provider, interested in decreasing the amount they have to spend on health care coverage for smokers...
16) Non-profits that turned half of one billion dollars in profit last year.
17) Take a minute to think about that.
18) People who walk on the dunes and wonder why their $8 million cottage washed away in "hurricane nickelback" last year.
19) People who walk on the dunes (period).
20) Nickelback.
21) That bald ADA who made a snide comment about my job when I was summoned as a juror in a murder case.
22) Getting a 76 cent travel stipend added onto my $9 jury pay, when the city government knows very well that it costs $1.75 to ride the bus to the courthouse, and $1.75 to ride the bus home from the courthouse (and at least - and I am being so generous here - $5 to if you decide to drive, and then park downtown).
23) Having a chat with a guy who likely shot someone in the face, so he can assess my character.
24) Realizing I don't actually believe people are innocent until proven guilty.
25) Knowing people assume what my political affiliations are, based on some of my favorite books (1, 2, 3, label me!).
26) Having my political affiliation changed on my voter registration because some db begged me to sign a phony petition because I was his "last signature" and if I signed he could "go home."
27) That smug girl who said I should have known better.
28) Knowing I should have known better.
29) Anyone who has ever stolen anything from their mother.
30) Cutting my fingers when I'm eating whole crabs and then getting old bay seasoning in the little cuts.
31) Cold wind blowing up my skirt.
32) Pantyhose. Ugh.
33) Second-hand smoke in my hair. (And see, I still don't support the smoking ban!)
34) Young politicians with major responsibilities that fell into their lap, who seriously abuse their new-found power. But I'm not mentioning any names or anything.
35) Julia Roberts
36) The fact that Julia Roberts named her twins Phinnaeus and Hazel
37) The fact that I know that.
38) Dave Grohl
39) Ergo, the Foo Fighters
40) Also, the bass player from the Goo Goo Dolls
41) People who make both Cs soft in words that start with a double C - ie "a-sess-ory" instead of "ack-sess-ory."
42) Colbie Caillat. What kind of self-respecting adult uses the phrases "silly place," "crinkle my nose," and "bubbly face," in a song that isn't written for children?
43) The fact that, in June, I called DPW, my state representative, and the mayor's 311 help line, about a SINK HOLE in front of my house. And today, December 11th, a guy from a sewerage company came to my house and told me he was trying to establish the cause of said sink hole, and could I please flush some dye down my toilet (and remember to flush twice).
44) People who don't use their turn signals
45) People who honestly believe that using their turn signals will "give away [their] next move." (I'm talking to you, paternal nuclear family member who shall remain nameless.)
46) People who complain too much
47) When my dog headbutts me in the shnoz.
-More to come someday, I'm sure.
2) Saying "heidgth" or "heigth" instead of "height"
3) Houses with brick front and vinyl siding - who are you fooling? (And no, this isn't a result of snobbery. Houses with all vinyl or wooden siding look fine, it's the literal facade of brick that kills me.)
4) When people say "foward" instead of "forward"
5) The way my dad says "wah wah wah" like a baby, when I'm complaining about something.
6)Super passive-aggressive conversations that culminate with the phrase "can you repeat the question?"
7)Eudora
8) Trying to do anything logical or practical in Excel. Not gonna happen.
9) "Lil" - in any place, or any context; at any time, and before, or after, any word or phrase.
10)People who whole-heartedly (and often passionately) believe that freedom of speech only applies to thing they like to hear, want to hear, or agree with.
11)People who think "Hair of the Dog," by Nazareth is "Son of a Bitch," by AC/DC.*
12) People who assume Pittsburgh can't possibly be cool because they grew up there/nearby.
13) People who assume that people who stay in Pittsburgh do so out of some short-coming, failure, or fear - and not out of choice.**
14) Getting an earache from sitting in a smokey bar too long.
15) The (proposed?) smoking ban. It's a slippery slope. If the government is truly concerned about the harmful effects of smoking, they ought to ban cigarettes. Until that day comes, I'd encourage you to wonder who is lobbying for these freedom-reducing measures (and they are, crazy as that sounds), and wonder if isn't some powerhouse health care provider, interested in decreasing the amount they have to spend on health care coverage for smokers...
16) Non-profits that turned half of one billion dollars in profit last year.
17) Take a minute to think about that.
18) People who walk on the dunes and wonder why their $8 million cottage washed away in "hurricane nickelback" last year.
19) People who walk on the dunes (period).
20) Nickelback.
21) That bald ADA who made a snide comment about my job when I was summoned as a juror in a murder case.
22) Getting a 76 cent travel stipend added onto my $9 jury pay, when the city government knows very well that it costs $1.75 to ride the bus to the courthouse, and $1.75 to ride the bus home from the courthouse (and at least - and I am being so generous here - $5 to if you decide to drive, and then park downtown).
23) Having a chat with a guy who likely shot someone in the face, so he can assess my character.
24) Realizing I don't actually believe people are innocent until proven guilty.
25) Knowing people assume what my political affiliations are, based on some of my favorite books (1, 2, 3, label me!).
26) Having my political affiliation changed on my voter registration because some db begged me to sign a phony petition because I was his "last signature" and if I signed he could "go home."
27) That smug girl who said I should have known better.
28) Knowing I should have known better.
29) Anyone who has ever stolen anything from their mother.
30) Cutting my fingers when I'm eating whole crabs and then getting old bay seasoning in the little cuts.
31) Cold wind blowing up my skirt.
32) Pantyhose. Ugh.
33) Second-hand smoke in my hair. (And see, I still don't support the smoking ban!)
34) Young politicians with major responsibilities that fell into their lap, who seriously abuse their new-found power. But I'm not mentioning any names or anything.
35) Julia Roberts
36) The fact that Julia Roberts named her twins Phinnaeus and Hazel
37) The fact that I know that.
38) Dave Grohl
39) Ergo, the Foo Fighters
40) Also, the bass player from the Goo Goo Dolls
41) People who make both Cs soft in words that start with a double C - ie "a-sess-ory" instead of "ack-sess-ory."
42) Colbie Caillat. What kind of self-respecting adult uses the phrases "silly place," "crinkle my nose," and "bubbly face," in a song that isn't written for children?
43) The fact that, in June, I called DPW, my state representative, and the mayor's 311 help line, about a SINK HOLE in front of my house. And today, December 11th, a guy from a sewerage company came to my house and told me he was trying to establish the cause of said sink hole, and could I please flush some dye down my toilet (and remember to flush twice).
44) People who don't use their turn signals
45) People who honestly believe that using their turn signals will "give away [their] next move." (I'm talking to you, paternal nuclear family member who shall remain nameless.)
46) People who complain too much
47) When my dog headbutts me in the shnoz.
-More to come someday, I'm sure.
* - If you are in absolute shock right now, read my blog "Public Service Announcement"
**-It may sound like I'm being defensive, and maybe I am, but I have these friends who moved from this boho city, to another boho city, and think it's fantastic simply because it's different - (and I bet this happens everywhere). Baltimore kills me - Oh you moved to a formerly industrial city, trying to forge a new image, with a famous hospital, a surprisingly vibrant arts community, and a football team that sometimes struggles, and sometimes kicks ass? CRAZY. Next thing you know you're gonna tell me that it has an ivy-caliber university (that isn't an ivy) and some amazing aquarium, or zoo!
-In another vein, I've encountered people who can't seem to consider themselves successful as human beings unless they have lived in, or near, New York City. I feel sorry for them. I think you appreciate New York the most when you want to be there, not when you are afraid to be somewhere else.
1 comment:
I can't agree more with the "heidgth" statement.
Post a Comment