Sunday, March 2, 2008

Self-Control is a Funny Thing. (Now with music!)

As I'm getting older, I'm noticing more and more that I'm very good at exercising self-control, but only in certain ways. My self-control, which a lot of people describe as "impeccable,"* usually involves a lot of workarounds. The perfect example of this is my speakers.

My speakers are blown and have been for years. One of my vices, and probably my worst habit, is listening to loud music. I mean loud. I know people who listen to loud music, and they complain about the volume of my music. I just can't help it, and I know this.

Ergo, I have not purchased new speakers. Why? Because I know I'll blow them too and it will be a ridiculous waste of money. Everyone tells me to turn the music down and buy new speakers - and people have even offered, neigh threatened, to buy me new ones, but I still refuse. I know myself. I know I won't be able to turn it down.

Why is this?

Why do I have enough self-control and sense not to buy new speakers, but not enough self-control and sense to turn down the volume (or geez, just not turn it up in the first place)?

I'm annoyed with myself as I ask this question, and as I sit here listening to "Search and Destroy" at a decibel level that could quite possibly annoy my neighbors too.

I'm not planning on having these speakers forever. I'm assuming that one day I'll grow out of this "need for loud" and be able to listen to music at a reasonable level. But what if I don't? I know at least one adult who never did, and who only started to turn things down when his hearing got so bad that loud music began to hurt his ears.

The most ironic part is that I value my hearing. About a year ago, at a time when I was still going to a lot of shows, I started wearing ear plugs to hear live music (probably one of the best decisions I ever made), and yet in an environment where I can control the noise level, I choose not to. I almost feel like I would wear ear plugs in my bedroom before I'd turn it down. Am I the only one this crazy about loud music? Am I the only one this crazy?


There are a few songs, in particular, that are not properly appreciated unless listened to at high volume**:

-"Reptilia" by The Strokes
-"The Revolutionary Politics of Dance" by An Albatross
- "Watch Out" by Atmosphere (and also "Smart Went Crazy")
-"Ah! Leah!" by Donnie Iris (this, my friends, goes without saying)
- "Us" By Regina Spektor
-"Search and Destroy" by Iggy and the Stooges (unfortunately the only decent version I could find is set to a montage from Platoon which is too violent for my taste, albeit tough and pretty well done.)
-"Laid" by James
-"My Name is Jonas" by Weezer (especially the 4-party harmony toward the end -- this is also an amazing song to listen to at the beginning of a run because of the way it builds)
-"Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots (oooh early 90s videos.)
- "Starlight" by Muse
-"District Sleeps Alone Tonight" by The Postal Service (especially starting at 2 minutes 18 seconds - and I hate to be such a girl but "Brand New Colony" belongs on this list too)
-"Wish" by Nine Inch Nails (I don't think this is the version I have, but you get the idea)
-"Let Go" by Frou Frou (another girly one)
-"Where the Streets Have No Name" by U2 (the video and the story behind it are both amazing, this linked video gives a little backstory before the video itself.)
- "Pyramid Song" by Radiohead
-"Staring at the Sun" and "Wolf Like Me" ***by TV on the Radio (and "Let the Devil in," too -- which I also believe to be the best song to listen to while speed training)
-"Here Right Here" by Sensefield. (Believe it or not, I could not find a copy of "Here Right Here" on the Web. I did find an acoustic cover by a kid with a surprisingly nice voice who adds a few nice, personal touches to the song (despite having listed the title wrong). Bear in mind the original isn't unplugged and probably wasn't recorded from a laundry room sink.)
- "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin (and I don't even want to start thinking of others because there a million)
-"Twilight" by Elliott Smith
-"XYU" by Smashing Pumpkins (and most definitely "Cherub Rock")
-"What You know" by TI (amazing)
-"I'm not Talking" by The Yardbirds
-"Tyler" by The Toadies
-"Blood Red Summer" by Coheed and Cambria
-"Take Me Home" Reggie and the Full Effect
-"A Stroke of Genius" by Freelance Hellraiser (hah!)
"Cigarettes Will Kill You" and "Apply Candy" by Ben Lee (even though "Apple Candy" breaks my heart)
-"The Woman in You" Ben Harper


This is list is longer than I thought it would be, and I'm sure I'll think of more. I guess I still have a lot of growing to do before I buy those new speakers.

Is that such a bad thing, though? Aside from the hearing loss, I don't think it's so bad that I enjoy music this much. I guess it's a shame that I'm so picky about the way I enjoy it, but assuming I don't actually bother my neighbors as much as I sometimes imagine that I do, I think the pleasure is worth the pain. Although, I say this now and I'm sure that when I'm half-deaf I'll kick myself repeatedly for not listening to everyone - but then again, if that happens, I won't be able to hear them complaining anyway.


* I say this with a hint of irony, or sarcasm, or humor - because I don't think my self-discipline is all that great, it just manifests itself in very visible ways so people seem to think it is (I could be onto something here).
**Feel free to mock my musical taste. Also, by way of a disclaimer, none of the songs I put up are censored versions.
***Does anyone else feel like TVotR really dropped the ball on the "Wolf Like Me" video? I was so disappointed.

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